Stepping Out

"Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness." - Robertson Davies

So I had a revelation this weekend, with the help of a couple people, that I will never be happy unless I'm happy on the inside. I think I rely to heavily on other things and people to provide me with happiness. Although how am I ever going to meet those other people if, I myself, am not happy.

Now don't get me wrong, I am happy. Probably about 85 - 90% happy. And I'm definitely working on the rest. What I learned is that you've just got to be confident in the choices you've made and are making and everything will be okay. And be grateful for the things you have. Some one suggested that I make a list of the things that I'm grateful for so here we go:

1. My job and my apartment
2. My family
3. Having someone to live with (my sister)
4. Having great friends (Erin, Sarah, Corinne, Jenna, Katie, Sandy....)
5. Being healthy
6. Being able to do what I want with my life without many obstacles
7. Getting accepted to culinary school
8. My strong will to always want to improve myself and my life

When I think of more I will add them to the list. Maybe you should try it too if you're feeling a bit down. Someone told me that being depressed is a luxury. I think they were right. If I sit around thinking about all the stuff I don't have or don't like about my life, I'm wasting time that could be better spent on improving my life.

I am honestly working towards this goal!